Joe was openly lesbian, usually dressed as a man, and had tattooed arms. She had numerous relationships throughout her life, including with Greta Garbo, Tallulah Bankhead, and Marlene Dietrich.
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Carstairs purchased Whale Cay for $40,000 in 1934, where she hosted guests including Marlene Dietrich and the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. She later purchased neighboring Bird, Cat, Devil's , and Hoffman's Cays. She sold the islands in 1975 when she moved to Miami.